Friday, January 22, 2010

Lesson #2 of a New Wife

I cannot be perfect.

I had a pretty big wake up call last night (and the past couple days) when I tried to make everything perfect. I know this sounds ridiculous, but it seems to be an ongoing struggle. My imperfection is magnified in my eyes so much more now that I'm married. The funny thing is that Josh loves me the most now than he ever has. We are happier now than we have ever been. So even when the food is cold, I break dishes, get lint all over his socks, get behind on dishes, spill wax on our favorite table cloth, sleep in, get impatient, fall asleep during an important conversation, spew water all over him, get frustrated, and so many other things... he still loves me and finds great joy in forgiving me. Isn't it how we are with Christ? The lesson I'm learning is that either I can live in obsessive striving and constant feelings of failure, or I can live in freedom, trusting in the forgiveness of a dear husband. In my faith, I've learned the latter is far more rewarding and encouraging. Why, after all, did Christ sacrifice himself? I strive to please Christ, but rest in his love and forgiveness. Josh doesn't expect any more of me. Freedom.

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